On January 17th it will be 100 years since the United States declared war on the manufacture, distribution and transportation of alcohol. On January 17th, 2020, inspired by the events of 100 years ago, Sofitel Melbourne’s Manager, Mr. Clive Scott, urges guests not to go into Melbourne’s bars and start going to Arts Centre Melbourne.

Scott says, “Alcohol is the problem and banning it is the solution. Did you know one in four people owe their insanity to not seeing a show once a year?”

The Manager refuses to part ways with where he learned these astonishing statistics.

An active member in Melbourne’s Arts Community, Scott is on the board of Craft Victoria, Chairman of Judges for the Melbourne Awards and an ambassador for the Arts in Melbourne. One could argue that he’s a little passionate about the arts and his momentous decision to ban alcohol to guests staying at Sofitel Melbourne On Collins is bizarre and completely irrational.

Or is it?

The unreasonable Manager, continues to say, “Alcohol stops people seeing great performances like Chicago The Musical. We want people back into these great institutions and out of bars. Able-bodied men and women are intoxicated by the desire to go to bars, and this must stop“.

The timing of this decision has peaked some interest.

Mentioned by Scott, Chicago The Musical, set in the 1920’s Jazz-age, when prohibition of alcohol was at its peak has opened at Arts Centre Melbourne.

Furthermore, Scott stated that his ‘Noble Hotel experiment’ will commence on 17th January and end on 23rd February, with the musical ending on the same date.

Lastly, it has been said by an insider from within the hotel that Sofitel is in fact the major sponsor of Chicago The Musical.

Further insider information has come out, where some staff are planning to set up an underground syndicate to rebel against Scott’s constitutional mandate.

If you bribe one of their staff with $23, there will be a knock on you door from fellow staff members who call themselves, ‘wet supporters’.

They will arrive with an incredible tasting Espresso Martini, that is amazingly re-named, “Chicago The Musical Cocktail’.

It will allow you to slip into the 1920’s life of Chicago just for one night.

Don’t worry, if you “get caught”, the Chicago the Musical cocktail comes wrapped up in an old prohibition newspaper with a tea cup and a dried orange that looks very close to someone sipping a normal coffee.


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