Before Hello You was born there was a conversation…

E:  Hey Quinn… do you want to do a cabaret show with me?
Q:  Yes. What's a six letter word meaning small?
E:  I don't know. So what do you think would be a good, original idea?
Q:  I'm thinking “notbig” but that's definitely two words isn't it?

E:  No, about the cabaret show.
Q:  Oh, right. Well how about a show about a futuristic fashion obsessed world where people wear meat as clothing? But then some crazy animal rights activists break into the zoo and free all the animals which start attacking the fashionistas. We could maybe hire a real tiger from the casino.
E:  Mmm. I think that's illegal. How about we each write down a list of 5 things we would like to see on stage. Here's mine:
1. Emma Thompson arm wrestling Harvey Keitel
2. Shakespeare in reverse
3. A talking puppy!
4. ER the musical.
Q:  Yeah and someone, perhaps a weirdo, loner guy who works in the morgue, could start using bodies from the hospital to make a line of durable high fashion sports coats.
E:  Yeah (laughs). And George Clooney could walk in actually wearing one.
Q:  Yes. And maybe when Emma Thompson pins Harvey Keitel to the floor with her face cos she is just so mad at him for turning down the lead role in Junior, leaving her to do it with that muscle popping adulterous republican freak instead, the casino tiger rushes in and bites off his face!
E:  Maybe. I think we might be getting off track.
Q:  And his amputated face then becomes the central and poignant motif upon which we tell the story of Trevor, the delightful talking puppy who touches our hearts and saves the world with his laughter.
E:  (Pause). Anyway, how about that list?
Q:  I’m thinking maybe he could be based on me.
E:  The great thing about lists is they offer variety. Options. Einstein wrote lists.
Q:  I touch people’s hearts.
E:  So did Marie Curie.
Q:  And save the world with my laughter.
E:  I know they weren’t performers but the point is they made a difference. They were pioneers. Innovators.
Q:  And I have a cute drooly face and a wagging tale and soft fur and- are you listening to me?!
E:  (Pause). Maybe. Okay, well how about I just wear a pretty dress and you pelt different kinds of animal dung at me?
Q:  It’s been done. Liza Minnelli did it in ’84.
E:  Oh.
Q:  But first she stripped naked and rolled in treacle. So I guess it’s kind of different.

For more insight into the genius of Quinn Stacpoole and Emily Taylor, get along to Hello You – A Kamikaze Cabaret: Wed 20th and Thurs 21st July 2011 at 6.45pm as part of The Melbourne Cabaret Festival.

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